Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in stephierae's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, October 17th, 2009
4:39 pm	i'm horrible at this thing.... lets see...i'lll hit the milestones for now and attempt to come back later and fill in the gaps. -joseph and i have been together for over 7 months <3 -i'm a senior (finally) -I've settled on theatre education for my major and am looking to go to Winthrop. -i'm still on student council at LPA -i'm fighting my way through spanish 102 at york tech. -I'm turning 18 in less than three months and am dreading it like crazy. -the government is really getting on my nerves-i'll rant about the fact that Obama got a peace prize for saying a bunch of stuff that, chances are, he won't follow up on in a later post. in said post i will also touch on the fact a 1,700 page doc was released to ALL of congress on the governments "intentions" to make progess in the area of the environment....1,700 page doc times over 535 senaters and reps....thats a lot of paper....oxymoron much? i think so. -i'm performing in a rather stressful show tonight. -i made my first 100 on a test.... -i sorta love joseph john mcguigan. <3 (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 15th, 2009
6:51 pm	SO, quite a bit has happened since i wrote last. Most importantly I started dating Joseph John McGuigan and couldn't be happier!! (3-10-09<3) He seriously makes me so happy! ^_^ anyways i would rant about that for hours, but i think the only person that would actually read it would be my mom. lol yeah. anyways. i started watching a nine year old 2 or 3 days a week....thats interesting. i'm still plodding along through school. i got 2 or my 3 dresses for various jr/sr's and formals i'll be going to (2 of which with Joey<3) and I am starting to believe i am an owl. seriously, i'm up all night and i sleep during the day whenever i can get away with it. it' horrible. my nail just broke. so yeah that's pretty much all that's been going on with me, i can't wait to see Joey again, but i think the next time i'll see him is saturday, then again on sunday, which i am excited about!! =D oh btw the Teen Talent Festival went amazing! i went with PNC and we rocked out! 1st in Dramatic monologue 1st in Human Video Solo 1st in Dramatic Group 2nd in String Performance solo (Violin) 2nd in Speech Impromptu 2nd in Mixed Media 2nd in Still Photography 3rd in in Human Video Group so yeah!! we're going to NASHVILLE!!!! i'm so stoked! it's gonna be rad......rehearsals for TNT(Nashville) are gonna start tomorrow and run strong till then. I cannot wait!! annnnnnnnnyways. I'm off to hang out with Hannah Lynn....i think...lol peace. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
1:13 pm	Why did i ever believe in you? why did i ever trust in you? why did i ever love you? The second i left you. the biggest weight was taken off my shoulders. in a crazy way i still hope you're happy, then i remember what happened between us, and i hate myself for ever caring. (Comment on this)
12:45 pm	so lets see here.... i'm having the MOST RANDOM DAY EVER! its been a bit since i've written...i'm still grounded big time. lol. ,hopefully i'll be getting my phone back soon though. i went to youth council last night....and did a whole lot of nothing lol but whatever i was able to chill out with people and such. i woke up this morning and went to class....western civ was good...went to spanish....did my homework lol. so yeah now i'm sitting at home watching tv. =] i'm going to the opera tonight =] and i'm pretty happy about that lol. by the way i miss Joey like crazy. thought i ought to say that. so yeah here comes a rant....ready? i can't get hurt again! i really can't i'm sick of liers, and cheaters, and being the security girl, that girl that is there whenever it works. I'm sick of feeling jealous. I'm sick of always being worried that there's another girl thats prettier, and smarter, and easier then me. I'm sick of being asked to changed. I'm sick of being told i'm not good enough. I'm sick of it and i'm seriously not going to put up with any more bull like that anymore. ok? rant over. i like Joey. He makes me happy. =]] i'm really pissed at myself. Why do i do the same thing over and over and over again??? it's so stupid! i'm an idiot. i think i'm going to go sleep. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 16th, 2009
7:40 pm	so i slept till 1:30 it was amazing. then i went to petsmart and brought a fish with Danielle. then went to basketball. then came home and ate and then took a bath. and now i'm sitting here hanging out with Dani and getting ready to go skiing tomorrow =D yay! (Comment on this)
1:25 am	so i just got back from the retreat. it was incredible. God was seriously moving in all of the kids and it was great being able to see the change that was happening in a lot of the hearts there. it was three solid days of spending time with Christ and just being able to worship him. i got home and slept for about 7 hours...woke up at like 10:30 or so and called Joey, we talked for a while, i told him a few days ago that i wanted to hold things off until he comes back then see where God wants us to go from there. When we talked today everything seemed good, i just wish there wasn't this distance between us. i don't even know if i'm making any sense it's 1:30am and i have barely slept in the past week. so yeah i'm going to get off and continue this soon. lol <33 (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 8th, 2009
11:34 pm	so basically this past week has been fantastic. Even though Joey's gone we've still been able to talk quite a bit and I love that....that guy bert that works at his school is most likely sick of hearing my voice lol. tonight was really good =] i don't remember the last time i was that open. it felt good. scary...more like terrifying, but good. I think i could get used to this =] I woke up at 8am and went to York Tech....first day of classes for the term....i walk in and sit down and the 2nd row and i look over and theres this guy sitting there and he looks really formiluer but i don't know where from...so 'm thinking about it and i realize he's my brothers friend Michael...they were in some of the same classes there last fall or something, anyways he had hung out around the house a lot but i had only been seen by him when i was in my PJ's so I'm praying to God he doesn't reconize me cause that would be slightly embassessing. so i'm focusing on not being noticed and Dr. Sturgis walks in and I'm all like what the heck! and so i look at my course assignment sheet thing and it says i have Baldwin, so i'm all like whats up? so Sturgis gets up there, says soemthign about how Baldwin is out for the day, passes out an attendence pad and says we can leave...what. the. heck? i mean for real? i woke up and got ready for nothing?! so i go out to the parking lot and sleep in the car for a while then make a mcdonalds run for soem sweet tea then i'm back to the college...i get into spanish and the class in packed so i find a seat near the back hoping i won't be called on, butr sure enough the attendence is called out loud and you have to answer in spanish, and of course i'm not wearing my contacts so i can't read whats on the board that i need to responde with, and of course my last name HAS to start with a B and there HAS to be to A's in there so i'm called on first and stutter all over myself while trying to answer. so yeah. needless to say i was humiliated. and about 2 hours later i gfot out of class and came home. ....i cooked Nicole and Myself lunch, then chilled out for a while then went to the YMCA to work of my free throws (which went from the 85% last year to about 30% =/) then i came home and got ready and went with Mommy and Nicole to pick up Angela and Jenny and went to the Pineville mall....we then came home and i cut Angelas hair (which looks suer cute by the way..) and then i got ont he phone with Joey until Mother draged me off =]]] so yeah. =] a day in the life of Stephie...don't be jealous. lol (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
4:32 pm	so it's been a bit since i posted. lets seeeeeeeeee.... Yesterday i went to basketball practice than came home and did James' birthday with the Bruce's and then talked to Joey for a while and went to bed. Today i woke up and headed to Lake Pointe Academy than came home and talked to Joey and watched Chicago...which of course, was amazing =D so than i dragged myself off the couch and dressed up and went and applied for a job at a child therapy office. so yeah....i think thats basically it. i'm now just waiting to take Nicole to church.....don't you just love how exciting my life is? (Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2009
6:14 pm	Joey and Jenn came over today =]] it was fun. we watched a movie then went to the park. =] me and joey basically lapped the Nicki and Jenn lol...it was amazing being able to see him one more time before he leaves....he's leaving tomorrow...i like miss him already...i'm hoping it will get easier but who know? He's leaving to go back to school in Missouri but he thinks that he may be able to finish up by the end of febuary so we're only looking at being seperated for a couple of months which isn't so bad. but yeah. tomorrow we're doing the jr/sr car wash so hopefully that will help take my mind off the fact that he's flying to go be 1000 miles away. so yeah hopefully i'll write more tomorrow but i'm about to crash =]] (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 1st, 2009
6:11 pm	so lots to report on. first off i moved into my sisters room again...we but a new tv/dvd player/gaming stuff and we're turning my room into a hangout den type thing =]]] fun stuff. besides i missed being with Nicole all the time. lol and i had spent the past two weeks sleeping in her bed anyway so we decided just to move my stuff in there lol. it's been hard...like de-junking everything lol. but i mean what can you expect right? the hardest part is dealing with mixing our closets lol. yeah... lets see....nexxxxt...I saw Joey last night =]]] We went to Holly's sweet-sixteen/New years eve party....hung out...froze our toes off....jumped on a bouncy thing...lol....way too much fun lol then we sat and cold cement and watched Mr. Starnes shoot off fireworks for almost an hour =]] it was amazing being able to see him. I think he's coming over tomorrow to hang out...he's leaving on Saturday to go back to boarding school and we wanted to get together before he left...it really sucks that he's leaving but hopefully he'll be back back by the end of feburary...still that a long time...but we'll get through it =]] i dyed my hair...five different shades of red and brown and then some beach highlights....nothing drastic..just fun =] so yeah..last night all the guys left and a huge group of girls stayed over at the Starnes which was amazing. lol we watched legally blonde..1 and 2 of course. and by the time i fell asleep it was about 8:30 or so i think...i woke up a little before 10 and me and Nicole drove home...then Nicole, daddy and I went shopping for TV's which was fun =]]] it's cute =D and now i'm sitting in my new old room freezing! so yeah i think i'm going to go curl up ^_^ nighty night<33 (Comment on this)
Monday, December 29th, 2008
11:24 am	i'm currently in Akron Ohio about to meet my 13 month old cousin for the first time. Christmas was fantastic. I'll post more on that later. I went to Joeys house and met him. That was fantastic as well and i'll most deff be posting more about that situation later =]]] <3 let's seeeeeee. i got up here on saturday and we'll be leaving on tuesday =] so yes. i'll post more as soon as possible. <3 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
9:26 pm	today is finally Christmas Eve =] in less then 4 hours i'll be 17 =]] i'm rather excited =]] so yeah let's see...... today i woke up at 1pm and then went to the park, and talked to Joshua. Then i came home and got to talk to Joey all day =]] so i took a shower, and it was amazing, lol. Then i went to the Christmas Eve service and it was looooong. so me and Lauren goofed off most of the service, and sang very deeply during the hymns =]] lol so then we came home and the Bruce's came over and we had my birthday dinner and i opened my presents =]]]] (iPoD!!!!!!) so yeah i happen to be very very very very very happy =]]]]] so now Damaris, and Nicole, and my mommy, and I are watching A Christmas Carol- The Musical.....as if i haven't spent enough of my life on Charles Dickens already lol. so yeah. i am now going to go talk to Joey some more and spend some time with Dee-May-May =]]] g'night =] (Comment on this)
Monday, December 22nd, 2008
4:55 pm	So the past couple of days i've been pretty lazy...lol. i've been sleeping in till 11 or 12....laying on the couch for a while...talk to Joey and Hannah...make lunch....lay around somemore...then drag myself to go work out. so yeah lots of fun. nothing really to report on... i did taking a shagging class....like the dance...lol. yeah it was fun...i know some basic stuff, i sorta want to learn some more... maybe i'll get into it....who knows. so yeah right now i'm at the Bruces up loading music unto their computer so i can put all of the music unto my iPod....in 3 days =D yes, i know, i live a very exciting life, and you should be jealous. =]]] I also just realized i missed Celtic Thunder when they came through Charlotte, and that makes me incredibly sad =// hoping they will pass through on their way back but i sorta doubt it. anyways =]]]]]] I'm off to finish up these CD's then go home and pakc up then i'm of to Paige's for a very needed girls night =]]] text the cellular device if i am needed =]] (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
12:42 pm	so. i'm going to start this up again...this time for real. lol. let's start where we left off shall we. I dumped Josh. I couldn't take him not giving me straight answers and acting like i was only there when he felt like it. and ton of other stuff went on, but i'm not going there lol. I left for NCSA (north carolina school of the arts) the next week. i was there for a month in a half and it was the most inncredible time of my life. I fell in love completely with the college and the studies) i'll go into all that some other time. I then went to HOBY international for 2 weeks in Washington DC. it was so so so awesome! (OUTSTANDING). and there i met Dan. I could write forever about Dan..but i won't....long story short, i liked him a lot, but he lived in England and the distance was hard. =/ but from there i went to Camp Joy which was life-changing as usual. But this time i met Sam. Sam Stikeleather has changed my life. and like i'm not exaggerating at all when i say that. he has always been there for and, even when i call him at 3am to yell at him ;) so yeah, i came home from all of that and i started school the next week. I'm taking Math and logic, art, and philosophy at Lake Pointe Academy, and I took HIstory 201 and English 101 at york tech....which was fun =]] so yeah, we're now on Christmas break which is basically amazing and i'm pretty happy about it. so now i'm off to hang out with Nikki and Mo and James. peace<3 (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
9:45 pm	so yeah i think ima start writin in here agian. lets see first things first. i'm now a 10th grader at trinity christian but i'll be leaving there to go to tech school this fall. i have an amazing boyfriend names Josh. i swear that boy makes my world go round. we'll be together 4 months this saturday and it's been amazing. this spring was a luttle rough for me but with him there it was worth it. i've done a lot of growing up since i last wrote in here. i am no longer the childish 13 year old. i'm still childish but now i have a 16 year old body =D jk haha not about being 16..i am...lol i try to be mature and responible and all that jazz but i also love having fun. i have a weird thing about playing on playgrounds and taking pictures of everything. so texting has become my lover....we're pretty serious =P and yeah trying to think of what else.... i'm still completly obsessed with theatre. i still cannot spell. i have narrowed my studded belt colletion down to two. i have 8 piecing all in the ears....2 are actully new...i wanted little spider bite type things on the top so i ask mommy and then i shoved two needles through my ear hehe. uuh i'm driving by myself now...me passing the test was a miricle. i guess the main big thing coming up is that i'll be going to NCSA for 5 weeks this summer to study theatre which i'm freakinb syked about. and i have succeeded in no exepting all the exams coming up next week....except math...so ima hit the books...so yeah idk who all is even on here anymore but let me know =]]] peace. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 19th, 2006
9:30 am	So yeah the rest of today went well, hung out with Anna, tought swim team, ect. so yeah it turned into a good day. well i have some phone calls to make, more later =) (Comment on this)
8:43 am	So yesterday, was not that great, but the way i see it is that people are going to talk about me behind my back, and twist the things i say, and i'm not going to be able to change that, and i'm not going to stress over it. I've told Alex the whole truth, but it's her chose if she believes me or not, saturday night was hard, i've lost people in my life, and have started closing everyone out, there were five people that i trusted, some more then others, i found out i should have never trusted three of them, I was at the concert when i got the voice mail, it was between Sara Evans and Brad Paisley I started crying so hard, Ham and Cole had to help me to the Bathrooms, This past year has been a year of lose for me, and now this, I was just so sick of being told that someone was gone forever, or that our friendship was. I've figured out who i can trust 100% and thats Ham and Anna, They are the best friends i could ever ask for and i don't see the point of having anyother they are the only people that have not broken my trust in someway or another. Even Anna doesn't know half the crap i've gone though this year. And she's the one that knows most about me. But the way i figure it is that nothing i say is going to stop these people from talking about me, or making them believe me. I told Alex that if she wanted to be friends with me or ever needed anything to give me a call, I may end up going to her cast of NJALS so we can sit down and talk things over. I really hope things work out. I'm going to be working about twenty-five hours this week so hopfuly that will help get my mind off of everything. I'm going to a camp with my youth group next week-THE GREAT ESCAPE-i wasn't looking forwerd to it at all, Matt wasn't going and it was my youth group, but now i'm glad Matt won't be there and my youth group is so insane i think they'll help get my mind off of stuff. The next two weeks after that i'll prolly try to work as much as possible and then in three week i have drama camp, GAH! i don't need any more drama! i'll have like two weeks home then going to Y nats with my brother, Camp Joy to help out, and then to the beach, i don't want to go to the beach at all, she planned the whole trip out, got us our condo, found the perfect place to fit us all and now she's gone, she won't even be there, i don't think we should go, but everytime i say that to my mom she starts crying and saying how we have to go. so whatever. but this summer is going to be really busy, and thats the main thing keeping me going. well i have to go get ready for work, more later (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
10:26 am	Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear Sealed with lies through so many tears Lost from within, pursuing the end I fight for the chance to be lied to again You will never be strong enough You will never be good enough You were never conceived in love You will not rise above They'll never see I'll never be I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger Burning deep inside of me But through my tears breaks a blinding light Birthing a dawn to this endless night Arms outstretched, awaiting me An open embrace upon a bleeding tree Rest in me and I'll comfort you I have lived and I died for you Abide in me and I vow to you I will never forsake you (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 15th, 2006
9:35 am	OK so for the past two days, i've just stuck this fake smile on my face and focused on not crying, and gone for a lot of walks it's worked fairly well, i havn't freaked out yet, I Haven't even cried. I don't know where to go from here, should i move on and forget the past?, should I push everything that reminds me of it as far away as i can, or should i try again? but why? so i can get hurt again? so i can have one more reason to get upset. i don't think so. I don't know what i'm going to do. I know i'm going to end up the same way either way, so i don't really think it matters. idk i have to go get ready for work. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
5:56 pm	So yeah today got rained out at Carowinds went back to Anna to watch a movie, got sidetracked hung out in Matts room for a while, started a movie around 5(?) didn't watch the whole thing cause Trey and Cass left, so Anna just dropped me off a bit ago, so yeah fun fun fun, /shoots self i can be an idiot sometimes It was good seeing him without her, I like him a lot better when she's not around. IDK I'm starting to think it will never work betwean us, and the thought of that kills me. i don't know what to do, i guess i'll go for a walk and try to clear my head. (Comment on this)